to my favorite internet friend.

i don't know that i have one. i have followers, i have people i follow, on blogger tumblr and twitter. sometimes i envy the support i see exchanged, the close relationships that form, through blogger or tumblr.. but i tried. there was katie, we texted and encouraged eachother..but we ended up living our lives so differently that it never would've worked. there was alisha.. she seemed so alive, she inspired me. then, after a week...she disappeared. i know she didn't weigh alot, wasn't eating alot, and was burning somewhere around 1000cal/day and taking caffeine pills among other things. i wondered if she'd died, if she got put in some treatment center, or maybe she just got sick of blogging. who knows. the internet is impersonal. i know i take it too seriously. then again, blogger and tumblr have given me a community of  individuals who have something in common with me, and are willing to encourage, etc. idk.